


girl's talk

by choerryous



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bonus: A cute birthday party for Chaewon because she deserves it, Established 2Jin, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Sleepovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-02-28 14:28:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18758293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/choerryous/pseuds/choerryous
Summary: Right before Chaewon's birthday, the girls come together to have an innocent, lighthearted conversation until the topic of crushes is brought up.





	girl's talk

As the credits of the film rolls, the girls look directly at the screen with puffy eyes and running noses and trying to wipe their tears with the sleeves of their pyjamas. Yeojin is the one sniffing the loudest as always, whereas Chaewon has only shed some tears. "That was beautiful," Heejin says softly and everyone nods in agreement - except for Hyunjin, with no signs of vulnerability whatsoever on her face, who stunts at the statement.

"Heejin... I don't know if you realised it yet, but we finished Lion King for the 3rd time  _only this week_ , how do you guys still end up crying so much?" Heejin throws the tissue box at her head, which Hyunjin quickly dodges. "This is unbelievable..."

Yeojin blows her nose loudly before elbowing her. "That doesn't change the fact that it's sad... Oh my god it’s so sad." She gets up and grabs the remote to turn the TV off. "I don't blame you though, the first time we watched it you were the one that cried the most; you must've run out of emotions."

"Shut up!" She throws a pillow at poor Yeojin and they start yelling at each other. Chaewon just sighs and gets up to tidy up the room while Heejin tries to break the two off, asking them to stop being annoying for one second. Hyunjin turns around and starts acting like she has been seriously offended and Yeojin just hits her with the pillow she has been hit with before. It's chaos, but it's nothing they're not used to - all of their get-togethers end up being messy and loud.

Yerim smiles at the sight of her friends bickering. She’s sitting on the couch still, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders, with no intention of getting up; she enjoys watching her best friends smile, laugh, have fun - them being happy makes  _Yerim_ very happy.

They have been friends for over a year now, since the first day of high school. To most people, it’s not long enough to become good friends with people, but it’s different for these bunch. Their first meeting had been unusual, yet somehow typical; which is, to be honest, still makes no sense to any of them. It was lunchtime and Yerim, with the other newcomers, was having a hard time finding a place to sit - that was until someone (specifically, Hyunjin) had grabbed her arm and made her sit with her. So did the other two 2nd graders with two other freshmen. Their explanation was that 3 was an odd number and they always felt bad that someone got left out and sat on the other side of the table - so they just  _had_ to even it out somehow. Surprisingly, all of them were glad to be dragged out like that, knowing otherwise they wouldn't have a place to sit.

("So," the tall, black haired girl started right as they started eating. "Which one of us do you think is the prettiest?"

The girl next to Yerim almost snorted her water out, while the other, shorter girl tried to rub her back to make sure she was fine. "Hyunjin," the girl next to her groaned, "this is not how you make friends! Here, follow my lead..." The girl coughed loudly and dramatically, then smiled brightly. "Hey there! My name is Jeon Heejin! The rude friend of mine is Kim Hyunjin and  _this one_ ," she gestures at the blonde girl who is busy stuffing her mouth with food, "is Park Chaewon! What are your names? You're all newcomers, right?"

"I'm Lim Yeojin," the shorter girl exclaims. "Yeah, I'm a newcomer but I was actually born in '02! I skipped first grade because I knew basic skills like writing, reading, four operations." The girls look at her, astonished. "I think I'm the youngest person in this school right now."

Yerim claps her hands excitedly. "You're so cute! Can I call you my little baby?" Yeojin nods. "Oh, that's neat! I'm Choi Yerim, nice to meet you, everyone! I’m glad to be here."

The other girl pouts, a bit awkward. "I'm Son Hyejoo... Thank you for the food." She bows her head and takes a bite from her food.

Hyunjin starts laughing. "Hey, why are you thanking  _us?_ " The girl withdraws. "Oh no, please, I'm not mad at you! It was just funny; I think we'll become great friends! Enjoy your meal!"

They all eat in a comfortable silence, minus the rumble in the cafeteria.)

None of them knew what it was that made them become so close in such a short amount of time, but they weren’t complaining about anything. After only a month or so, they had started doing everything (and by that she means everything) together. Not a single day goes boring when they're together, even the dumbest things are fun and enjoyable when they want them to be. Her group of friends is the best thing that has happened to Yerim, she doesn’t know what she’d do without them.

When Yerim hears a soft laugh coming from her right side, she doesn't expect to see Hyejoo standing in the hallway with the brightest smile on her face. "Looks like you caused conflict without me this time..." She throws her backpack to the side and walks in, making eye contact with anyone but Yerim, who feels overthrown just like the backpack on the floor.

She isn't supposed to be here.  _Why is she here? It's Tuesday, she's always busy on Tuesdays, what is she doing here?_

“Hyejoo!” Chaewon walks up to her and hugs the girl tightly. “Didn’t you tell us you wouldn’t be able to come because you have practice?”

She starts hugging everyone else and simply replies, “It got cancelled!” She’s happy to be here, obviously, so why does Yerim feel so... weird?

After the hugging ceremony, Hyejoo turns around and looks directly at Yerim. She feels her whole stomach turn looking at the tall girl; her hair is braided in two and her makeup is lighter than usual - she’s wearing a black t-shirt, black shorts and long, white socks with two red stripes. And the way she’s looking at Yerim is... soft, tender and careful. She doesn’t look at all hurt, for some reason.

 _Why aren’t you mad at me? You’re supposed to be mad at me_ , she thinks.

“Hi there,” Hyejoo breathes, smiling again. Yerim tries to smile as brightly as possible while guilt eats her from the inside. “Where have you been?”

_Running. I’ve been running away from you for an entire week._

Yerim has been running from Hyejoo. Everytime she has seen her face, she's walked the opposite direction, hid behind a wall and waited for her to leave. She's even ignored her when she called out her name, playing deaf and talking to other people from her class. She felt horrible afterwards.

“Ah, it just wasn’t a great week, you know?” That isn’t a lie, she was feeling bad indeed; but she isn’t going to tell her that she was trying to avoid coming face to face with her by hanging out with other people, especially people outside their friend group. It wasn’t so hard since they aren’t attending the same class anymore, but she was so scared of confrontation that she brought her own lunchbox in order not to go to the cafeteria and sit with the girls. That, of course, led the others to get worried too but she managed to brush them off by saying she was on a diet. "I'm sorry for neglecting you so much," she adds, as if it's an afterthought.

"It's fine! Just missed my... best friend, that's all."

Hearing her say it makes Yerim feel like crying. "Yeah," she mutters.  _"Best friend."_

She was, is, terribly scared of coming face to face with her, and yet here she is - looking directly inside her eyes, waiting for something to happen for no reason. (Or maybe she doesn't, maybe she just wants to disappear forever rather than having to spend hours with her while trying to remain calm and happy.)

They stay like that for a moment. Everything is silent, like no one dares to speak. The eye contact gets more and more intense by every passing second; they both have so many things they want to say, yet neither of them dares to let it out.  _Why?_   Yerim is the one that looks away first, laughing nervously. “So! Now that we have the complete squad, let’s eat!”

Everyone, except for Hyejoo, cheers loudly and runs into the kitchen. The girl just stands where she already was and keeps watching her friend, with the blanket still around her shoulders, smile genuinely and laugh with the others.

She must’ve done something wrong.

-

The dinner goes just fine, or so Yerim thinks. They laugh, bicker, joke about Chaewon being old now that she's 19 - almost an adult. She's having fun, they're all having fun. Sometimes, she makes the mistake of looking at Hyejoo sitting on her left and turns away quickly when she sees the girl staring at her. She doesn't know why she feels so nervous whenever she steals a glance knowing fully well Hyejoo will be looking at her. She feels guilty; more than that, she feels sick to her stomach thinking about how upset she has made Hyejoo unwillingly. Yerim is only just starting to realise how selfish she has been.

 _I had to, for both of our sake._ She doesn’t believe herself

Hyunjin stops laughing abruptly and starts eyeing Hyejoo questionably. "So, what's up with your sudden appearance? I know you have a showcase next week; you should've stayed for the dance practice..." Before Hyejoo can even open her mouth, she gets cut instantly: "Don't even try telling me it got cancelled again, your shorts, your hair and the number of water bottles in your backpack say otherwise."

Her eyes widen. "You looked through my  _stuff_?" 

"No actually," Chaewon winks. "That was me. My hand kinda... slipped?" She chugs the rest of her Capri Sun in one go.

"Unbeliavable..." Hyejoo sighs but doesn't even look slightly annoyed. "Okay, you got me... I asked the girls if I could skip for today. You know, this is a special occasion! Plus," She turns back to Yerim, who is also looking at her this time. "I didn't really get the chance to see you guys this week."

Something inside Yerim's stomach turns. She hides her nervousness with a giggle.

"Man," Heejin giggles. "As Yerim said, it's been...  _a week._ None of us had time. Especially the three of us get busier every day... It's not long until we graduate."

Hyunjin elbows her. "No CSAT talk today, I hear that shit at home enough already. And it's the baby’s birthday!" (Chaewon protests quietly, but nobody pays her attention. They're used to her whining “I'm not a baby” at this point) Heejin rolls her eyes and feeds Hyunjin a piece of meat to shut her up.

"So yeah!" Hyejoo continues, bit more cheerful than before. "I told them what's up and Chaeryeong said it wouldn't be a big problem; we already practised a lot, you know?" She turns her attention back to the birthday girl. "Happy birthday Chaewon.” She goes back to eating.

They get up to help Chaewon do the dishes and manage to make even the boring, lame activity somewhat fun. Yerim doesn't approach Hyejoo, still. She doesn't know why she's afraid of confrontation so much. They're friends, right? Friends talk when they have a problem with anything... But how can you open up, really, when the problem has to do something with the person you're talking to? Yerim is the worst at being vague, she's  _horrible_ when it comes to being vague.

 _How does Chaewon do it?_   Yerim shakes her head. _Don't compare the two of you. She's a professional._

"Listen up, idiots!" Heejin tries to get everyone's attention by clapping her hands. "It's almost 9 PM and we have only 3 hours left until this baby-" she points at Chaewon, who sticks her tongue out. "Becomes nineteen. So now, according to plan, it's time for Super Smash Bros."

Hyejoo lets out a loud "Fuck yeah!".

"But," Yeojin furrows her brows. "There's six of us. Can't we play Cluedo instead? Or poker?” They all stare at her. “Hey, you were the one saying 'no smash' after all..."

Hyunjin sighs. "Well, it was actually always a part of the plan. You see, we were going to be five at first, and I'd planned to sneak out while the four of you were really invested in the game. Now, though, it's almost impossible for me to do that – not to mention Chae hates surprises anyway." Chaewon nods. "So now, Heejin and I will be going out to pick a wonderful cake for the birthday girl here! You know, like the good friends we are."

Nobody buys it. "You just want to get out so you can smooch in peace."

"Okay,  _so what_?" Heejin pouts. "You guys become so annoying whenever we show any kind of affection towards each other."

Yerim rolls her eyes. "Don't blame us, we're just bitter and jealous of you two."

Hyunjin's eyes widen. "Oh," she smirks, wiggling her eyebrows. "You're  _bitter_  and  _jealous_ , huh!" 

Oh. Yerim swears her face is as red as a tomato already. "No, ah... No, I, uh, I meant-"

"Can you guys leave already?" Chaewon cuts her impatiently. "I want my cake and the bakeries are about to close."

With that, the two lovebirds leave and the four of them get ready to play. Hyejoo doesn't look enthusiastic anymore - just mildly confused.

-

To no one’s surprise, Yeojin wins - but to everyone's surprise, Hyejoo only gets slightly upset over it. Normally, whenever someone other than her wins, Hyejoo gets fussy and accuses the winner of cheating, blames her controller for disconnecting (Yeojin always tells her that 'it's the Switch, not the Wii Sports Baseball Bat' and Yerim still doesn't know what that means) or whines about how unfair the world is. Needless to say, the girls are slightly concerned.

"Never thought you guys would  _want_ me to be a big cry baby, but okay," she replies when they ask her. "I'll make sure to complain a lot more next time."

Yerim senses that something is wrong, she's had a feeling from the moment she saw her standing at the doorway - Hyejoo never ever skipped practice. She looks at the girl lying on the ground, now with Chaewon's extra pyjamas that are quite short for her, so much that her ankles are totally exposed. Yerim can see the traces of the scratches she got when she fell down from the tree the two tried to climb two weeks ago. It's hard for Yerim not to blame herself, especially when she's reminded of her past mistakes that have affected her friend like this. _It must be my fault that she's acting this way, it has to be..._   _Maybe if I wasn't an idiot and had the guts to have a talk with her without getting too-_

The doorbell rings and Yerim gets up to rush to the door, almost tripping on her way out of the room. She finds Hyunjin and Heejin with a big carton box in their hands and big smiles on their faces. Instead of welcoming or inviting them in, she just mumbles "Gay," and heads into the living room - which would have been funny if Yerim wasn't the one doing it and if she wasn't looking so distracted.

Soon enough, every one of their friends realises something is up with the two.

"Something is up with you two," Chaewon claims, suddenly approaching Yerim while they're all tidying up the living room for the celebration (and the cake, it's mostly for the cake). "I don't know what it is, but I just  _know_ something's up."

Yerim looks straight at her. "I don't know what you're talking about," she says, pretending like her voice didn't just crack and she isn't sweating pinballs.

Chaewon obviously doesn't buy it. "Look," she starts, "If you've had some kind of argument and don't want to stand near each other or something, I get it - but I feel like there is a lot more to it, and you know I'm always right." She puts her hands on Yerim's shoulders. "Is there anything, in particular, bothering you about Hyejoo?"

"Absolutely nothing at all is bothering me," Yerim blurts out, with a smile so big that her cheeks hurt. "Can we cut the cake now? I wanna see the cake, I'm  _really_ excited about the cake - it's a strawberry cake, right? I love strawberries, really amazing fruit - I mean, fruit in general is wonderful but- Ow! Why did you pinch my arms for no reason?"

Chaewon keeps a straight face. "You have been ignoring her because you're keeping a secret."

"Come on now," Yerim's smile fades away. "Why do you have to have such a strong 6th sense - or whatever it is?" She continues when Chaewon doesn't say anything. "Yeah, I have been ignoring her; I think you can tell already that I feel bad but  _geez_ I feel incredibly guilty and I can't take this anymore... I was never on a diet; I simply never came to the cafeteria so that I wouldn't have to sit next to her like I always do. But in process, I had to ignore you guys too and it's obvious that Hyejoo got upset and she doesn't even seem to be  _remotely_ mad at me and it doesn't make sense?" She pauses to catch her breath but continues before Chae can say anything. "She had to be mad at me so that I would have a reason to, I don't know, have some kind of conflict with her. There is no way I can have a conversation with her if we both remain passive - not even passive aggressive, we just don't talk about it and pretend it never happened like two idiots and I  _hate_ it because I think that's what I've been doing for months now and she just feels so distant-"

A short pause, and then: "...For months, you say?"

Chaewon knows. (Of course she does.)

"Hey guys, gather 'round!" The birthday girl calls everyone in the room over and everyone obeys. "So, I don't actually want to blow out the candles before it's my actual birthday - which is still 1 hour 48 minutes and 37 seconds away, 35 now." She looks at Hyejoo, who's staring at the empty, boring walls and doesn't seem to be paying attention. "That's why I think we should just sit down, on the floor, and have a fun little...  _chat!_ "

Heejin laughs. "Oh,  _I see._ " Every single one of them knows that it isn't going to be just a  _fun little chat._

"Cool," Yeojin exclaims. "I'll go get some pillows so we can sit on the floor like real high schoolers!"

Yerim would like to think that had it not been the fact that Chaewon is the birthday girl and so adorable (only on the outside), she would have been mad at her - instead, she's just nervous.  _Guess I'll have to deal with this now,_ she sighs.  _Just what I truly wanted._ She leaves the room to grab Chaewon's favourite pillow, just because.

(And she doesn't notice Hyejoo watching her leave with big eyes, shocked for whatever reason.)

-

The talk, when it comes to their group of friends, isn’t simply talking. It’s their way of making everyone spill their secrets or stuff they just can’t tell anyone. It has been a whole year since they last had such a talk and considering what's happened then, Yerim is scared. She's scared of what her friends are capable of.

They've known each other for a long time and Yerim knows them enough to realise how they have their own ways of getting information out of someone - not by force, though, they instead make their prey willingly open up to them. They are incredible at manipulating and pressuring Yerim, but maybe it's because she is easy to manipulate. Maybe she's the girls’ eternal prey; but there is nothing she can do about it, because nobody seems to understand how much she struggles like this.

("Okay look, you don't understand!" She's sitting outside the school building with Minju, eating frozen yoghurt and trying to hide from Hyejoo. "I'm serious, they are  _not_ human, like I'm totally convinced they are supernatural beings. There is absolutely no other explanation."

Minju looks confused. "Why would you even think so? Your friends are absolutely adorable and really funny."

"Exactly!" She points her spoon at the girl. "They're a little bit  _too_ perfect, don't you think so? I mean, Heejin is good at everything; sports, classes, singing, arts, even talking, Chaewon is a witch and a psychic who is able to kill people with a single glance, Yeojin wins whenever we play something; board games, video games, arcade, poker even... And Hyunjin? She likes fruit cake. Isn't that odd? I think she's from, like, Pluto. And overall, they are a  _destructive_  team. See, whenever we're out and I want to eat ice cream, they persuade me into thinking about how yoghurt is healthier, and it has more toppings I can choose from - which is completely wrong, but I believe them every single time! I don't like yoghurt and yet their impact on me is so strong that even when they're not around," she holds her yoghurt with blueberries up, "I'm still eating the spawn of the evil."

It takes a moment for Minju to process all that, but when she does, she laughs out loud. "Oh god, I don't know what's funnier; you being so overdramatic and cute or Hyejoo not being mentioned." She shushes Yerim before she can speak. "I know, she's perfect in every single aspect ever and that's so overwhelming-"

Yerim hits her in the knees a couple of times, though it doesn't change the fact that her face is completely red. "Point is! I'm friends with supernatural beings that want me to live a painful life so that they can have fun while I become their sheep... Just a puppet in their fun little game. And you know what? I'm afraid you're also one of them." 

She laughs somewhat creepily. "Oh, you didn't know?" She has some sort of accent that Yerim can't figure out. "I'm actually a goddess! My name is Aphrodite and I'm here to help you stop being a little coward and talk to-"

"Please don't mention  _her,_ she'll be summoned."

"You would like that." Another hit in the knees. "Hit me all you want, but if you don't hit on  _her..._ "

She gets up hurriedly and walks away. "Goodbye, Minju! See you in class!" Her face is still bright red.)

Maybe Yerim is overdramatic (she definitely is) but she's sure her friends are demons. (They are not. They just know how to talk to Yerim properly, because they are friends.)

"Okay, so!" Yeojin drops all the pillows and plushie toys she has on the floor and claps her hands. "Who are we murdering tonight?"

Chaewon replies with "No one in perticular," while looking directly at Yerim.

(So maybe, they are demons. Yerim is scared shitless.)

They get comfortable at first, before starting the talk: Hyunjin lights some lavender scented candles, Heejin assigns everyone a plushie to hug, Chaewon and Yeojin make sure the pillows make a decent, symmetrical and geometrically correct circle. Hyejoo and Yerim, though - they just stand there and watch them. Normally, they would be the ones to light the candles. Yerim looks at the self-absorbed girl and smiles; she is pouting uncontrollably while watching the tiny flames, inhaling the smoke that's mixed with the sweet scent and she looks otherworldly. She looks like she belongs somewhere else, like this little town is too small for the flame she's holding in her chest, buried deep inside because she doesn't know what to do with it.

The first and only time Yerim went to Hyejoo's dance practice - which was only 2 weeks ago, is the reason the girl cannot sleep late at night. To this day, Hyejoo doesn't know she has ever gone in the studio and Yerim doesn't have the intentions of telling her. It was after school and for whatever reason, Yerim wanted to visit the girl to surprise her with chicken and fries she bought from the nearest convenient store; they had two exams that day and she thought it would cheer her friend up. However, when she got there, things didn't exactly go as planned as she saw that Hyejoo was the only one in the dance studio and she was speaking to herself loudly.

"You did good enough, Hyejoo." She was whispering loudly. "Stop thinking, focus on your moves. What's done is done, right?

Yerim’d watched Hyejoo whisper to herself right now and wondered whether she's worried right now.

"Focus on the music," she’d said and turned the music on.

That was the first time Yerim had seen Hyejoo dance so fiercely, with so much power. It was like she was a hungry tiger, chasing an antelope in the wild. Her expression was unreadable but bold, there was something in her eyes, determination maybe. That was the first time Yerim had seen what Hyejoo was hiding under the surface, under her shy, awkward self. That was the first time she had the chance to get to know the  _real_ Hyejoo, without any prejudice, any doubt.

That was the first time she felt  _that_ way.

("Hey," she approached Yerim outside the studio. "What are you doing here?" She was incredibly sweaty and looked really tired.

Yerim got up hurriedly. "Oh, I was just waiting for you! Outside! I didn't come in, no, I didn't!" Hyejoo tilted her head. "I brought you some chicken," Yerim gave the pack to Hyejoo and started walking away. "Eat it well, that was quite expensive for a high schooler like me."

As she was about to leave the lot, Hyejoo called for her. "Wait! Why don't we eat together? At the park near here?"

It took Yerim a while to answer, she was feeling dizzy and her head was about to explode from thinking too much. "Yea," she then lets out shakily. "That sounds fun.")

Yerim wants to see that girl again.

They all settle and lie down, facing each other - Hyejoo and Yerim are right next to each other and it's a curse more than a blessing, really. Yerim doesn't know (or want to know) how much she's blushing. Everyone seems to be comfortable and happy with a plushie in their arms and although it's getting late, they all seem to be energetic, but still calm. It's silent for a nice moment, then Chaewon ruins it with her classic question: "Anyone has been up to something _fun_ lately?" And there they go.

At first, it's just some innocent talk. Yeojin brags about how many times she's won in Smash and the others just listen to her, without making any comments. No one dares to. Hyejoo talks about their dance practices and upcoming showcase, and although she has talked about it a thousand times already, they all still listen to her go on about it excitedly, because they all love hearing about it. Yerim just shrugs and says she has been studying - Chae looks her right in the eyes and wiggles her eyebrows furiously, then simply says 'yeah me too' when it's her turn.

"Me and Hyunjin went to a carnival for our last date and she got me a toy bear!" Heejin smiles brigtly and snuggles into Hyunjin. "We're so romantic."

"And so cliché, yeah," Yeojin nods. "At least you didn't end up like those who broke an arm to get an ugly fish." They all know who she's talking about.

Chaewon slams her hand on the floor. "Speaking of the mushy stuff... Let's have  _the_ talk _._ "  _Oh no,_ it's time and Yerim's palms are sweating. She nudges uncomfortably in her place while all the soon-to-be-graduates look at the young ones as Chae continues slowly. "I think I may or may not have a crush on someone."

Nobody has been expecting this. " **What?** " They all let out in unison and after that, it's just a mess. The girls bombard her with questions, make funny faces at her and imply 'that's the reason she has been so spaced out lately' while Yerim stands where she is, watching them with horror. "Please let me explain," pleads Chae and everyone seems to calm down only a little bit. "I met this girl at the library where I study at the weekends... We were at the same section, I was looking for books on genetics to study for my exam, and she approached me asking if I had been able to found any books on the same subject." She giggles. "I was shocked at first, but when we started looking together, we also started chatting a little bit and  _god,_ she's  _really_ talkative but incredibly cute as well."

Hyejoo smiles warmly. "Do you still see her?"

"Yeah," she smiles back. "We see each other on the weekends, we talk before studying and then get to work. Though," she says as she seems to remember something important. "She did indeed ask me if we could study together. She's at college, though only one year older, so she wants to help me out with stuff as she also remembers her past knowledge."

Everyone woos at her. "Did you say yes?" Chae nods sheepishly. Everyone woos louder. Yerim stays silent.

"So that was my cue for you to start talking about your crushes!" She then adds, "Girls talk only though, no boys talk on this holy day." Yerim doesn't want to exist at the moment.

Yeojin raises her hand like she's asking for permission to speak, so Chaewon gives it to her. "There's this one girl in my class and although I'm technically not crushing... She's really cute, and  _tall_ as well!" She scoffs. "She's so tall it makes me insecure even. Seriously, tell us Hyunjin, what's your secret?"

"Good genes," she states proudly. "Also not giving a damn about what people say."

"What if people say I'm a perfect student and am really good at stuff I like?"

"You still shouldn't. It might end up with you closing yourself to constructive criticism."

It's silent for a moment. "Wow," Yeojin says monotonal. "That's rough. Anyway, the girl is cute and really sweet and polite and  _perfect,_ but she has a boyfriend and is too out of my league. End of story."

("Did you really ignore my wise advice like that," Hyunjin asks silently to Yeojin.

She shakes her head. "No, I was just doing what you told me to, not giving a damn."

"Ah," the taller girl scouts back to her place. "I'm gonna suffocate you in your sleep.")

They all start cooing at Yeojin, saying how much she has grown since last year and give her (bad) advice like poisoning the dude and taking the girl out on a date or make her leave him by telling her the dude likes mint chocolate ice cream. Then they start arguing about whether mint-chocolate is bad or not - everyone except Yeojin agrees it is. The conversation topic seems to be changing as everyone starts going at it, which makes Yerim happy. Somehow. She also adds her two cents in, saying she'd rather eat toothpaste than mint chocolate, and angers Yeojin in the process.

Before the conversation dies down, Yerim decides to make yet another move to not go back to the crush talk. "By the way," she starts, turning to Yeojin, "do you know the girl's sun sign?"

Yeojin looks at her, blank. "What."

"You know, the signs! Western astrology! Do you know her birthday?"

"April 17, the same year as me." She sighs. "Please don't start talking about astrology again, you confuse me so much."

Hyunjin interrupts. "Hey! Yerim likes talking about astrology, so let her! Don't be a bad friend, Yeojin." At that, Yeojin becomes stiff and looks guilty. Yerim wants to tell her it's okay, but before she can even open her mouth-

"Hyunjin," someone interrupts quietly. All three girls turn around to see Chaewon, looking at someone else - Hyejoo, who's looking down on the floor. "I don't think Yerim wants to talk about her interests. I think she just wants to avoid talking about the real issue." Hyejoo doesn't move.

Yerim's palms start sweating. "Chae-"

"You have to talk," she states simply, when she means:  _Yerim, you have to talk_ ** _to her._**  "Avoidance doesn't help anyone. Only when you confront yourself and who you want to confront, you will feel at peace." She turns her eyes from Hyejoo to her. "I'm sorry that I pressured you."

Nobody speaks for a minute until Heejin (who is still confused) starts slowly. "Yerim," her voice is soft. "Do you like someone?" And with the question, Yerim can only stare with her eyes wide open, visibly sweaty and nervous. She repeats it over and over again in her head.  _Do you like someone? Yerim, is it possible that you might like someone?_

Her gaze finds Hyejoo's for a quick moment. They get stuck, like something is forcing them to look into each other’s eyes.

(She lets out a breath. "I still can't admit it to myself, Minju. It's hard."

Minju smiles at her. "That's okay, feelings are dumb. You don't have to say it out loud, or even think about it... But I'd like to know why you can't.)

They stay like that, under the gazes that hold countless meanings.

(A sigh. "We are best friends, you know that. I feel like if I admit I have feelings for my friend, I will ruin everything. What we have right now is special already, what if this feeling ruins it? Even if she likes me back, what if I do something wrong? I don't want to lose her, in any condition. I want her to be by my side."

"I understand." Minju puts her hand on the girl's shoulders. "Your worries are valid. Though, I'd like you to consider the fact that maybe she worries over the same stuff as well.")

It’s the moment they finally understood each other. It’s the moment where they see each other: their ambition, their passion, and how alike they are. They are so alike that it caused them to push each other, like the same polar of two magnets do, but now-

(They hugged as the wind blew rigorously. "You have to talk to her, Hyejoo. That's the only way.")

But now, they can see who they really are. With all their flaws, insecurities, feelings.

"Hi there," Yerim whispers quietly, out of breath for no apparent reason, before turning to the others. Chaewon has a big smile on her face. "So, you guys get prepared for the countdown. I need to talk to Hyejoo for a moment."

That's when they all understand. "Damn," Hyunjin lets out a laugh. "No wonder you looked like you were going to black out a few minutes ago."

Hyejoo rolls her eyes, also out of breath. Has she been holding it for that long? "Just go. We won't be long, promise."

They all tidy up and put the stuff away before the four girls leave the two, whispering to each other and giving them  _the look._ After the door is closed, they both take a deep breath and start talking at the same time.

"I'm sorry I avoided you this week!" Yerim exclaims, while the other girl roughly states "This is entirely my fault!" They stop abruptly and stare once again, deciding which one of them should go first. Their communication is telepathic; by only using their eyes, they can easily understand each other - because that's what they are used to, after being friends for this long. (Which, again, isn't that long for others, but it's enough for these two.) Hyejoo wants Yerim to go first, and although she protests at first, she agrees to start.

"Do you remember the day I visited the studio?" Hyejoo nods. "That day, before we talked outside, I went in the studio and saw you... Dancing, all alone. I was fascinated, you fascinated me with the way you move. I felt that I didn't know you until that moment, I felt so distant - and yet, I felt drawn to you." She takes a step forward, with determination. "It made me think I didn't know anything about you."

Hyejoo takes a deep breath. "Oh?"

Yerim gulps before continuing. "I decided that I didn't deserve to be called your best friend, because you were a different person without me. I thought... This isn't _my_ Hyejoo, at all. Then, who is this? It made me feel so small and unimportant." She shakes her head, frustrated. "I was being an idiot. I knew, deep down, that we were close but even when I thought of the times you called me your friend, I felt that something was wrong. I didn't realise that the problem was my own feelings."

She takes another step forward. "I fell for you, the day I saw the  _you_ I have never seen."

Silence takes over the room.

"And it wasn't just that. I had started catching feelings long before that, but it took me a trip to your studio to realise what I felt for you was different. That's why I avoided you, I didn't know how I would be able to explain myself to you. It only made things worse in the end."

Hyejoo gives her a genuine smile. "I don't think so. Look at you, explaining yourself to me without any problems."

"Yeah," she agrees. "It just took me, I don't know, one and a half week? No big deal." They both giggle. "Now, it's your turn."

A pause. "Our reasoning is so different, yet in the end, so similar." She shakes her head. "If you hadn't ignored me, I wouldn't be able to understand my own feelings - so thank you, really."

Yerim is surprised. "Really? How?"

"Well, you know, I considered us best friends because I thought we were just a bit closer than the others. I thought I still loved you the way I loved others." She sighs loudly. "I was wrong. The times we spent together, without you, made me realise that. And of course, the way Heejin and Hyunjin acted." They both laugh at this and make fun of the two for a brief moment.

Hyejoo grabs Yerim's hand before talking. "I wasn't alone. I had my friends beside me, I talked to the crew, to my classmates, to other people at school. I wasn't feeling lonely, but I was lost. No matter what I did, it felt like something was missing. I was longing for your presence." She then puts Yerim's hand on her left cheek and relaxes at the touch. "I thought I did something wrong. I thought the problem was the way I acted towards you. I thought 'Maybe I annoyed her," or 'Maybe she got sick of me'. The worry was eating me alive.

"Until today, while I was heading to the studio. Until I saw Minju."

Yerim's eyes widen. "Minju? Did she-"

"No, she didn't say anything about you. I didn't even say your name but somehow, she knew. She knew it was you. When she pointed out I looked down, I talked for a bit; and after I talked to her, I immediately called the crew to tell them I couldn't come."

"So, you came just to see me, not even Chaewon." She smirks playfully, Hyejoo rolls her eyes.

"I was actually going to leave early and surprise Chaewon but after the conversation I just... Had to see you. Minju made me realise that the only way to solve this was-"

"To talk." Yerim caresses her cheek before letting it fall on Hyejoo's shoulder. "Everyone seems to be obsessed with verbal communication these days."

Hyejoo giggles. "You have to admit, though... It works." Yerim nods in agreement, before taking another step and pecking the girl on the cheek while grabbing her shoulder. The taller girl tenses.

"Yeah, it really does."

-

"Why are they talking so quietly for?"

The others, except Chaewon, are sitting in front of the door, trying to listen to the two inside. They are leaning on the wall, listening carefully.

"I just heard them giggle... Losers." Hyunjin nudges Heejin for the comment. "Dumbass," she whispers. "That was us 3 months ago."

"Exactly. Hence why I'm allowed to make fun of them."

_"Hyejoo," Yerim whispers quite loudly. "I want us to spend more time together. I want to get to know you better."_

_A weird noise. "Dumbass, we already spend every single minute together!"_

_"No, I mean - without the others. We rarely go out together."_

_Someone, most likely Hyejoo, giggles. "You hate the others that much?"_

_"I'm trying to ask you on a date, here, don't ruin it."_

It's silent once again. "Ah, I hope they're kissing. Please tell me they're kissing." Hyunjin jumps up and down like a little kid. Yeojin sighs at the way she acts.

 _"We're not kissing!"_ The door opens and Hyejoo comes out with a big smile on her face. The girls sitting on the floor panic, but they don’t seem to be bothered. "We were just checking time, it's almost midnight."

"So you better come here right now, before I blow out the candles myself!" They turn around to see Chaewon standing there with her cake in her hands. It's a strawberry cake, very Chaewon-like. "It's time."

She puts it down and everyone gathers around the table, ready to celebrate. Yerim looks around and observes the expressions of her friends. They all seem to be enjoying themselves, and she enjoys watching her friends smile, laugh, have fun - them being happy makes  _Yerim_ also very happy. She makes eye contact with Hyejoo once, briefly, and she feels incredibly light. Like a weight has been lifted off of her shoulders. The burden is gone, the only thing she has to focus on now is the birthday party.

"Aren't you going to tell us-"

"After the celebration." She winks mischievously. "We can  _talk_ again if you want."

The countdown begins and everyone starts singing the birthday song when it's officially midnight - and Chaewon's birthday, she blows out all the candles in one go. Everyone claps furiously, clowning the birthday girl in the process, and Yerim doesn't think she’s felt this good in a while. Her group of friends is the best thing that has happened to her.

She doesn’t know what she’d do without them.


End file.
